I just joined AsianHotDate.com, i need to satisfy my Asian girl fetish. Japanese women are sexy. Let’s see if I actually meet any girls off there. Check it out they, seem to have alot of members on their AsianHotDate.com site.

Haven’t had anymore crazy dates lately. Right now I’m checking out the profiles at CrazyKinky.com. I kind of like the crazy girls just for the stories!

Before the marriage:

He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.

She: Do you want me to leave?

He: NO! Don’t even think about it.

She: Do you love me?

He: Of course!

She: Have you ever cheated on me?

He: NO! Why you even asking?

She: Will you kiss me?

He: Yes!

She: Will you hit me?

He: No way! I’m not such kind of person!

She: Can I trust you?

Now after the marriage you can read it from bottom to the top!!!!

A lady, desperate for companionship took out an ad in the local paper. It read: “I need a man who won’t beat me up…won’t run away with other women, but he’s gotta be great in bed”. The next day the doorbell rang, and she found a quadriplegic on her doorstep. “You have no arms” she said… he answered: “I won’t beat you” “you have no legs” she protested… he said “I won’t run away with other women!” Embarrassed she inquired: “How can you be great in bed?” His answer: “I rang the doorbell, didn’t I?

It’s the Spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date. He’s a pretty hip guy with his own car. When he goes to the front door, the girl’s father answers and invites him in.

“Carrie’s not ready yet, so why don’t you have a seat?,” he says.

“That’s cool” says Bobby.

Carrie’s father asks Bobby what they’re planning to do. Bobby replies politely that they will probably just go to the soda shop or a movie.

Carrie’s father responds “why don’t you two go out and screw? I hear all the kids are doing it.”

Naturally, this comes as a quite a surprise to Bobby-so he asks Carrie’s Dad to repeat it.

“Yeah,” says Carries father, “Carrie really likes to screw; she’ll screw all night if we let her!”

Well, this just made Bobby’s eyes light up, and his plans for the evening was beginning to look pretty good. A few minutes later, Carrie comes downstairs in her little poodle skirt and announces that she’s ready to go. Almost breathless with anticipation, Bobby escorts his date out the front door. About 20 minutes later, Carrie rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her, and screams at her father:

” DANGIT DADDY….! IT’S CALLED THE TWIST..!

Yesterday I went on a date with girl Julie I met on SeekChristians.com, we realized early on that there wasn’t enough in common to pursue anything further. We had planned to go for drinks in the bar of a restaurant and then move to the dining part for dinner. I closed the drink tab and stood up in the middle of conversation, I think she may have thought to get a table by her reaction, but I wanted to get out of there, there was no point in staying. So, I shook her hand, told her it was nice meeting her, and walked out and left her sitting at the bar with a full drink. I felt a little bad afterwards, but i really wanted to go

“I’M GOING FISHING”
Translated: “I’m going to drink myself dangerously stupid and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.”

“IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN”
Translated: “I have no idea how it works.”

“I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT’S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND.”
Translated: “I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra.”

“TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU’RE WORKING TOO HARD.”
Translated: “I can’t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.”

“THAT’S INTERESTING, DEAR.”
Translated: “Are you still talking?”

“YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS.”
Translated: “I remember the theme song to ‘F Troop’, the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I’ve ever owned, but I forgot your birthday.”

“I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES.”
Translated: “The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe.”

“HEY, I’VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I’M DOING.”
Translated: “And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon.”

“I CAN’T FIND IT.”
Translated: “It didn’t fall into my outstretched hands, so I’m completely clueless”

“WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?”
Translated: “What did you catch me at?”

“I HEARD YOU.”
Translate: Hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don’t spend the next 3 days yelling at me.”

“YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE.”
Translated: “I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse.”

“YOU LOOK TERRIFIC.”
Translated: “Oh, God, please don’t try on one more outfit, I’m starving.”

“I’M NOT LOST … I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE.”
Translated: “No one will ever see us alive again.”

“WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK.”
Translated: “I make the messes, she cleans them up.”

John invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but noticing how beautiful John’s room-mate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his room-mate, and this had only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and his room-mate than met the eye. Reading his mom’s thoughts, John volunteered, “I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you Julie and I are just room-mates.”

About a week later, Julie came to John saying, “Ever since your mother came to dinner, I’ve been unable to find the silver gravy ladle. You don’t suppose she took it, do you?”

John said, “Well, I doubt it, but I’ll write her a letter just to be sure.”

So he sat down and wrote: “Dear Mother, I’m not saying that you ‘did’ take the gravy ladle from my house, I’m not saying that you ‘did not’ take the gravy ladle but the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.”

Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read:

“Dear Son, I’m not saying that you ‘do’ sleep with Julie, and I’m not saying that you ‘do not’ sleep with Julie. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom.”

Lesson of the day …Never Lie to Your Mother.